remembering a friend...
Died- 03.11.97
My best friend during my second year at ECU. During a very difficult and trying time in my life. His death was the first time that anyone close to me passed on. No grandparents, no uncles or aunts.. no fucking cousins had died... well no one within a third-removed slot. No one.
To those that don't know the story, and this may get long for those that hate long blogs. So to you I say FUCK OFF! I am writing this in his honor. And I think I have never gotten over his death, so maybe this is a way for me to cope and vent at the same time.. And working at Food Monkey again doesn't help.
I met Aaron the first year I was at ECU. I decided to work at the local Food Buffalo to get some extra cash (since my parents were tight-wads!) He and I were baggers that year. He kept talking about wanting to go to ECU. Well, the next year he does and I see him in my Art History class on the first day. I tapped him on his opposite shoulder to make him look the other way as I tried to move into the seat next to him, just to fuck with him. and he fell for it.. so every day after that i did the same thing.
we quickly became good friends. and i invited him to our (mine, heather's and kevin's) weekly ritual of going clubbing. he was also 21, which made it even better! i was sort of glam-goth at the time, and aaron loved it. i would let him borrow my clothes and we would take our art pins and draw on each other before we went downtown. he always wanted me to draw a teardrop under his left eye, and i had this thing for having a gothic vine wrapped around my pinkie. we would get fucked up and go to the clubs. but we never tries to hook-up. we were there to have a good time and to hell with everyone else there.. aaron, kevin, heather and i would find ourselves a corner of the dancefloor and would just do whatever we felt like doing.
since aaron lived in town, yet did not have a car, i gave him my spare key to my dorm room. so he stayed over whenever he wanted. especially on x-mas break and spring break.
that was a spring break that i will always remember...
i am back in cherryville.. hanging out with Elmo.. we get to his house and his mom yells out the window that i have to call home.. now my parents never call my friends... so i thinking that i am in some serious shit.. they found something. i call and they say "you need to come home now!"
all i can think is that 'I'm Fucked!'.. they heard something or know something...
i get home and they tell me to sit down. 'jesus fucking christ i am fucked now...'
they say, "donna from food lion called, aaron was at a friend's house and was playing with a gun and accidentally shot himself in the chest"... i have never felt so numb in my life. i didn't know how to feel... how to react.. if only my grandpa had died of a heart-attack when i was 8.. but no, my family has the life-espectancy of a sea tortoise. so i remember going into the basement and putting 'space jam' into the vcr.. and calling Elmo to tell him what happened..
i tell him, "i don't care what's going on tomorrow, but i am getting fucking wasted!" and so i did.. off a mix of vodka and Everclear.... with no chaser. that is the most drunk i have even been and remembered it..
two days later i drive, two days before spring break is over, to greenville for the funeral... that numbing feeling clouds me all the way there. as soon as i walk into that church and see his picture beside that urn.... i fucking lost it.. death was real then. i would never see my friend again... his mom had them play 'spirit in the sky'.. an old 70's tune..... and everytime i hear i think of that day..
after the service, we went to greet the family... i walked up to aaron's mom, whom i never met, and told her who i was.. she jumped up and hugged me.. she said, "thank you so much for showing aaron everything. without you he would have just sit at home in his room." and i think that meant more to me than anything anyone could have said. it was like this thing that touched me. that i had done something good, yet, that person was no longer there!
every time i think of him i wish that there was a god that would let you rewind time.
i will always love him... and i will always remember him!
and aaron, i hope you are getting some madd 'Noop-Gnat' in heaven!!
I love you brother....
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